#6 – I Secretly Want to Be A Psychologist

I’ve learned a lot about people the past few years.  I’ve learned a lot about what motivates them, what makes them tick.  I’ve met too many that are ego-driven and attention-starved.  I’ve also met many many kind-hearted people.  People that would do a lot for me, that have done a lot of me.  I get along best with like-minded people that are honest, straight-forward and strong-at-heart.  Many people can be strong-at-mind, I’m one of them.  But without those other attributes, I don’t find that I am attracted to them.  My favorite people in the world exhibit these qualities and they exhibit them with ease… and they smile a lot!

But that’s all warm and fuzzy.  What I’ve explored as of late are a few key character types of which I will describe one at a time.

Here is the first… this personality-type is someone who will do anything to know, to be the keeper and distributor of information.  For these people, they love to tell others how much they know and how important it makes them for knowing, for being a source, and even better to be THE source.  It makes people feel important to know.  As the saying goes… “knowledge is power”.  But I’ve met some people that just go so far our of their way to share proprietary information or confidential information just to get a short-term boost of ego juice.  They want to be The Source so badly that their actions become obvious and the people around them cease to speak to them about ANYTHING of importance.  This person will be referred to as “The Source.”

Next we have the type of person that stores up information to use at just the perfect moment.  The intent? To strike!  They want to strike against someone or multiple people that they want to or already have conflict with.  They have a point to prove.  They are rarely right within their circles, which causes conflict for them.  Instead of moving on to other circles they continue forth and formulate a plan to catch you with your proverbial pants down.  Rarely can they because the people they desire conflict with are generally smarter, quicker, wittier and braver.  When they have a plan of attack or a verbal weapon in hand, they are generally so eager they prematurely erupt, making a fool of themselves.  We’ll call this person “The Striker.”

Then we have the person who generally tells tales so tall that they can’t keep them all straight.  A web of fibs so thick that over time the stories change, growing horns and beards.  They create excuses, make up stories and get this… they are never wrong!  They are so good at continuing down the path of deceit  that they just can’t be called out for their fabrications and just continue to get away with it.  Only a person with not a care in the world, or maybe a soul, could nail this person to the wall.  Therefore, you have “The Escapee.”

There is a very common thread among The Source, The Striker and The Escapee… their ego needs attention.  They need attention  They stop at nothing to receive it, be it good, bad or ugly.  Some may refer to any of these characters as the drama queen/king.  I’ve often used that term myself.  The bottom line is they are seeking attention, acceptance and esteem.  Don’t we all at one point or another?

I’ve been The Source at times.  But it has only led to frustration, for me and the people that want the information more than me.  Holding onto the info is false power.  We are the human race, we crave knowledge.  Feeling uninformed can be painful, hurtful and can leave you feeling powerless.

Being able to recognize why people act the way they do IS powerful.  You can choose how to manage The Source, The Striker and The Escapee if you recognize their deficiencies and inefficiencies, we’ve all got ’em.  You can chose to selectively inform The Source, you can stroke The Striker to keep them happy and subdued by including them in the inner-circle.  And you can choose to just listen to and believe The Escapee, no matter how badly you want to challenge “the facts”.  If you are a strong, stable individual, you don’t have to indulge yourself in the drama.  You just have to understand that everyone comes from somewhere, everyone has a place in the world and everyone chooses the path they are on, sometimes even if unknowingly.

Dealing with people, all people, requires patience.  I didn’t have much of that a few years ago, but I’ve since learned where to demonstrate patience, kindness and compassion.  I’ve been told that I can be a bitch.  Good for me right?  Isn’t that really where the “strong-minded” comes into play?  Well either way, no matter what you call it, I’ve found more appropriate use for my bitch-power.  I’ve channeled it into a hobby of analyzing why people act and react the way they do.  I’ve learned how to deal with crazy characters, and same-sex colleagues.  I’ve somehow wizened beyond my 30 years through this hobby.  It gives me real power.  Power to be myself, to be respected, to be a force.

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