Yes, they are swirling. I don’t know where they come from, but they swirl and swirl until I give them some serious attention. They don’t bother me. It gives me something to think about when I have a moment to zone out and not think about anything (how’s that for irony?) I just get to toy around with these somewhat bizarre notions. Sometimes the only way for them to evaporate is if I verbalize the thought to someone. It doesn’t really matter if they get it or even care… and sometimes it’s funny to see people’s reaction.
One of these random thoughts is about the way that I perceive a year. Turning a concept into an image is not common practice for me, at least not a conscious practice. Never-the-less, here’s what it looks like… I envision a year like a counter clockwise circle, January being 12 o’clock. The more I began to think about this concept, the more that it actually makes sense – there are 12 months in a year, 12 hours on a clock, etc. The part that is a little askew is how I view the portions of the year. Rationally – if you break it down into quarters, the start of the 3rd quarter of the year, October, would begin at 3 o’clock. For me, the end of August is at approximately 3 o’clock. This vision is mostly due to the end of year craziness with the holidays, and I view August 31st as pretty much the year being over for sanity. This year was the first time that didn’t happen though (in 2011 I lost my sanity around July 15). I was so thankful to have the busyness of the first 8 months of this year be over, that I slowed down my virtual clock. And if it wasn’t for the retailers pushing holidays on us so damn early, I wouldn’t even know that Thanksgiving and Christmas are just around the corner.
So now, being November 5th, we are firmly at 2 o’clock, but fortunately for me, I only feel like we’re on 3! Well done Christine – way to live in the moment! Lastly, you are probably wondering why the clock is moving counter clockwise, not the sensible clockwise direction. What can I tell you, this is my subconscious. It can’t always make sense. Nor would I want it to.
More random thoughts…
How did we go from living in caves, bartering with our neighbors for a piece of deer meat in exchange for a flint arrowhead, just trying to survive… to looking for definition of our lives and selves through careers, money and status? When did it all get so complex, and why did we want that? It’s crazy to me knowing that we were in total control of the simplicity of our lives and chose not to stick with it. It seems like the point to life back then was to survive. But what was the point of just surviving, why not find new ways to make surviving easier, right? It’s human nature. And at what point did living to survive turn into an iPhone that tells you off when you’re rude to it?
And last stop on my crazy train… why can’t religion and evolution completely coexist? I’d like to believe that the creation of all things happened by a higher power and the magic of what was created is that everything that he/she created has the ability to evolve, thrive or go extinct. Additionally, over the past 13 billion years, that same higher being (who can’t be perfect because nothing is) provides some help to his/her beings on earth. After all, we are his/her creation, and I don’t think planning billions of years could have been easy, so things are bound to come up unexpectedly that need guidance. This solution provides me the ability to believe in science and faith. I think we are meant to consider and incorporate both in our daily lives.
Remember… it’s normal to be abnormal!