In the words of Diego: Mission Complete!
After 2 incisions, loads of CO2 and a Percocet refusal, the IUD was removed and I was sent home.
My fears of “going under” have been dispelled. I was however led to believe I would have some fun with the general anesthesia and I did not. Casey was expecting me to wake up and say funny things. I woke up and was on the verge of crying. It took me like 20 minutes to choke back the tears. I think I was having a really bad dream.
I did not dream about the winning lottery numbers despite the request of the anesthesiologist. And I kind of wish I was still a smoker because that apparently that might have helped me to avoid throwing up during the car ride home.
It seems wrong that I awoke from my nightmare at 1:25 and was on the way home at 3:15. I felt kicked out. Aren’t they supposed to air on the side of caution and make you wait until you are begging them to go home? I wanted to stay there where you lay still, doze in and out of sleep and people are constantly wanting to adjust you and give you things that make you feel better. Oh right, that’s what happens when you have babies.
I had to fend off little boys within a couple hours of being home, only to be exiled to my bed island that Connor can now swim to. So I went to bed at the same time as them and awoke 12 hours later!
You must be wondering if I’m having withdrawals from my IUD. They didn’t even let me say goodbye at the hospital. I must admit I had grown pretty attached to it. Ha! Yes pun was completely intended… They actually found it almost completely buried in a layer of fatty tissue that surrounds my intestines. Thank god for fat right?
I’ve decided to move on. Me and my IUD… We were not meant to be.
So long. Farewell. Auf Wiedersehen. Goodnight.