When the crazy comes out

Some days I can take the wily antics of my sweet little boys with a smile, calm voice and firm yet effective discipline. Other days, I’d like to serve a warm glass of shut the hell up for breakfast.

That’s when the crazy comes out.

I haven’t mastered the art of harnessing the crazy. It just controls me and all of my bodily functions. It doesn’t make me wet my pants or anything that nuts. But this possessive demon does control my mouth, blood pressure and hand motions at times in which I feel like I have traveled to the bottom of low.

I don’t want to hang out with the crazy. I don’t like the crazy.

But the fact of the matter is, the crazy joins me and my family at the most inopportune times. For example: leaving the house for work/daycare; walking to the car in the IKEA parking lot in a downpour; cleaning up the house while everyone is awake. Simple daily tasks become rage-filled battles between mom and toddler(s).

Could it be that I am just a stressed out mom working full-time, dealing with the struggles of my life that is passing by faster than I can fathom? Or are those just excuses. I believe the latter would be true. I’m supposed to be in control of my emotions, destiny and other things of the sort. I can do this!

Since I can’t necessarily remove all the stresses of life in order to decrease the likelihood of the crazy coming to dinner, I decided to make a list of ways to defend my castle when it rears its ugly head.

1. Send myself to time out. I go by the “your age is your punishment” policy when it comes to time outs. So if you are 2 years old – 2 minutes! Off you go! I will promise to abide by the same rule… I turn 31 tomorrow. This will be good.

2. Walk to the kitchen, open the freezer, pull the silver stag off the top of the Jager bottle and take a short swig.

3. Cover my ears, close my eyes and sing /It’s a Beautiful Day at the top of my lungs. When I’m done, I will need to walk away since my singing will probably disrupt the natives more than necessary and the situation might take a turn for the worse. If this happens, I’ll try #1.

4. Exit the house into the back yard, and throw the balls scattered around the yard at the shed.

5. Throw down…

5. Go on vacation for a week of R&R to throw the crazy off the scent and hope that it will still be out searching for me when I get home. It’ll buy me some time at least.

They aren’t all good ideas, but it’s a start. I’m making an effort.

One thought on “When the crazy comes out

  1. This is great! I definitely have the crazies visiting here on a regular basis! When I was about Parker & Owen’s age I would go to the house across the street a lot to play with the my bf at the time~ anyways, one day while eating lunch at her house, I guess Jill and I were being exceptionally challenging, because her mom poured the whole gallon of milk on Jill’s head, seemingly out of nowhere! I remember that moment as being terrifying! I ran all the way back home screaming that Jill’s mom had gone mad! …..But I now know what that want to pour milk all over your punky child’s head is like now….and I hope to never actually get to that tipping point! Taking deep breathes seems to be semi working for now….I don’t know though may have to start doing your #2 too😉 (btw~ Happy Birthday tomorrow!)

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