“If you are a dreamer, come in.”

“If you are a dreamer, a wisher, a liar, a hoper, a prayer, a magic-bean-buyer. If you’re a pretender, come sit by my fire, for we have some flax-golden tales to spin. Come in! Come in!”  –Shel Silverstein

If you could be someone else, would you?  If you could make your dreams come true, would you?

Picture yourself going on vacation with your friend/spouse/partner. You drive into the lush forests and mountains of Vermont. The scenery is stunning, everything so green and vivid. The air is crisp, cool, clean and oxygenated. The road turns to dirt and rock under your car’s tires. You think you must be almost there, but you continue to drive another 45 minutes because it takes forever to get anywhere in the mountains. Then it appears… the sign to your weekend destination… “Brewed Inn Style.”

It’s late when you arrive in the front drive of this quirky property.  There appears to be three stand alone structures, yet strangely they are all somehow tied together in a semblance of unity.  Your intentions are to take a walk around in tomorrow’s daylight to study the objects that may only exist in the shadows of the dazzling moonlight.

As you remove your few belongings from the trunk, you hear a slight vibration and see a twitching of dull light from the far left structure.  For now you approach only the front porch of the main structure and let yourselves in through the large oak door.  Inside you find you are not in a classic country home as expected, but a modern and fresh existence.  A sleek silver key sits atop a small magenta box on the front desk which you are sure came straight from IKEA.  Upon closer inspection, the box is marked with just your first name (he who makes the reservation, gets the box).

The box contains postcard sized pieces of glossy paper.  The first with a picture of your room on the front and instructions for accessing it on the back. You can’t wait to fall into that luscious bed with crisp white sheets and a vibrant lemon yellow duvet.

The second describes the breakfast menu for tomorrow morning: “Poached eggs on multigrain toast with celtic sea salt and freshly ground black pepper; a side of  garden fresh tomatoes, prosciutto and bright orange cantaloupe; Detox Tea (trust us) and freshly squeezed juice from the morning’s variety of vegetable and fruits.”  On the back of the breakfast card is a brief set of instructions: “Tonight will be fun, but tomorrow will be better.  Breakfast will be served between 7:30 and 9:00 am.  You are welcome to utilize the kitchen after 9:30 am if you miss it.”

The third card in your magenta box details the 5 beers currently on tap.  A seasonal variety, the house lager, a deathly imperial stout, a Vermont-styled Belgian unfiltered and a smooth and charming IPA.  On the back of the draft list card tells you that the tap room in the far left structure will be open until 10:30 pm and that “D” is your bartender tonight.

The fourth card lists all of the services offered in the far right structure, the first two of which are included in your weekend package: a 30-minute massage and a mani/pedi (still time to decide who gets what). The other options include hair and wax treatments of a wide variety, and a cedar sauna room.  The back of this card simply states: “Please book your services for the weekend by 10 am Saturday.”

And finally, the fifth card has a warm photo of the Inn Keepers, Christine and Casey, on the front and a message from them on the back: “Welcome to Brewed Inn Style!  We’re so glad to have you with us for a couple of days.  Please spend time relaxing, unwinding, kicking back, getting in style and back to nature while you are here.  You’ll find us both throughout the property during your stay, but mostly in the brewery and the kitchen, where we enjoy creating delicious treats for you to enjoy. Treat yourself, treat each other and let us know how we can make your stay most enjoyable.  — C&C”

You do just that until the moment comes when it is time to get back in the car and drive back down the gravel drive, onto the dirt and rock road and out of the vividness… back to your reality.  We’ll stay right here, at Brewed Inn Style.  Our reality.

I am a dreamer.

Serenity Interrupted

I was feeling serene aboard a giant 737 with my eyes closed, safely belted in, loud whir of the airplane in my ears, until I was so rudely brought back to reality by the hundreds of passengers around me. Why are people so irritating on a plane?

Really though, only a stressed out work-at-home mom could find serenity on an airplane anyways. The last time I traveled via air I had my squirmy little toddlers with me and serenity was no where in sight for me or anyone in a 10 seat radius.

Since I’ve been to that place where no parent wants to go, I was able to at least appreciate the mom and dad with their 6-month old who spent about half of the flight making a noise that sounded like a wolf howling while mating with an enraged bear.  The other half of the flight were happy gurgles and giggles in between bouts of snotty snores.

The rest of the passengers were supremely agitated by the wolf/bear because she was clearly interrupting their mouth-wide-open naps and scalp scratching.  Don’t these people know that they sleep with their mouth open?  I do and I’m so embarrassed when I awake from accidentally drifting off into dry mouth land.

And doesn’t Mr. Head Scratch know that he’s taller than the seat back and everyone is witnessing his flakes?  So gross, I know.

I firmly believe that I am a conscious airplane traveler. I am one who keeps my elbows inside of the shared elbow rests, holds my bladder for hours when I have the window seat, doesn’t let a single spec of gas pass through any orifice, and reads in silence even when I get to a LOL moment.

Some people just have bad form.  I would be so embarrassed to be the cougar next to me reading 50 Shades of Gray. Everyone around her can read the book jacket and will spend the remainder of the flight imagining her imagination.  And all of the men are planning their trip back up the jet way, just waiting for the perfect moment to ask her if she’d like to share a martusi with them at the ETA Lounge.

Why can’t everyone on board just sit still and relax?  If one person is going to recline their seat, shouldn’t all seats lettered C agree on this invasion of space. Ready?  On the count of three, all seat Cs recline. It’s like sitting at a red light. If everyone hits the gas at the moment the light turns green then no one needs to wait, no one gets hit and overall a much more efficient way to drive around town.

I know. Idealistic.

Airplane travel should be simple though. It’s all just a matter of listening and following instructions. Why does the adult human race revert to the toddler stage in life where you actively ignore people all day long just because a god-like voice is talking to you over a PA system? 1 personal item and 1 carryon suitcase means 2 items TOTAL. Not a carryon, a purse, a laptop bag, a shopping bag from the Rainforest Cafe and a bubble goose down jacket!

Maybe the real solution here is to buy myself a nice pair of noise canceling headphones so I can get back to my serenity.